Ep263: Nathanial Bibby – Growth Happens When Only You Can Help Yourself

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Guest profile

Nathanial Bibby ranks number one in the Asia Pacific region on the Social Media Marketing Institute’s top LinkedIn marketers list, and he won Best Use of LinkedIn at the Social Media Marketing Awards 2019.

He is a two-time finalist for the 2020 Social Media Marketing Awards for his campaigns “Monday Night Live” and “LinkedIn vs. Instagram.”

Bibby Consulting Group has generated over $400 million in sales through LinkedIn lead generation.

 

“If you’re basing what you do in life on other people’s opinions of you, you will never be fulfilled.”

Nathanial Bibby

 

Worst investment ever

Ever since Nathanial started going to school, everything he did was geared towards seeking his family’s attention, especially his father. A lot of what he did at university and early on in his career was geared towards other people’s opinions. He always thought it was his responsibility to solve all of his father’s problems. It came as no surprise that after completing university, Nathanial went to work with his father in Phuket doing property development.

A father-son duo

Nathanial and his father were very successful in terms of sales, and the business was booming. Soon enough, his dad bought more land and developments that only caused trouble in their business.

Spreading his wings

Nathanial left Phuket and moved to Hong Kong, where he worked a job that he hated but kept doing it because his family thought it was the right job for him.

Nathaniel tried several other things that he thought would please his family. It took him about six or seven years to do something that he wanted to do.

Standing on his own

Nathanial finally dared to do what he truly wanted. He quit his job and started a company, to the dismay of his family and friends. They all thought that he was insane and did not talk to him for six months. But, this was the most fulfilling decision Nathanial has ever made.

Lessons learned

Start listening to yourself

If you’re basing what you do in life on other people’s opinions of you, you will never be fulfilled. Ignore the views of others, and listen to yourself. Start doing what you are most passionate about.

Follow your passions

It might be hard to say no to people and go out on your own. People will judge you and resist you changing altogether. But, when you succeed, they will respect you.

Andrew’s takeaways

Be more of you

Often, the challenge is not to be like someone else; the challenge is to be more of you. Ultimately, you are unique, you are the only one, and you are your uniqueness. So be more of you.

You can make it through the bad times

Things don’t bring happiness. What brings joy is peace with yourself and having good people around you. With these two things, you can make it through anything. You can make it through losing everything, losing all the money that you have, if you have yourself, and good people around you.

Actionable advice

Find what you’re passionate about because if you’re a business owner, you’re going to run into some big challenges. If you’re not passionate about your business, you’ll probably give up, and the passionate people will outwork you.

Secondly, start adding value without expectation, and all the things you need will get taken care of. The world will find a way to meet your human needs, whether it be your financial needs and your business, or relationships or what have you. All you need to do is get out of your head and focus on giving and helping other people.

No. 1 goal for the next 12 months

Nathanial’s number one goal for the next 12 months is to simply turn 36 years old.

Parting words

 

“Andrew, keep doing what you’re doing. I love seeing people adding value. It’s fantastic.”

Nathanial Bibby

 

Read full transcript

Andrew Stotz 00:03
Hello fellow risk takers and welcome to my worst investment ever stories of loss to keep you winning. In our community, we know that the winning investing you must take risk but to win big, you've got to reduce it. This is Andrew Stotz of a Stotz Academy where we apply finance principles for people facing four different challenges. investors who want to manage their stock portfolio, aspiring professionals who want to learn how to value any company in the world, business leaders who want to make their companies financially world class, and even beginners who just want to learn how to implement a simple lifetime investment plan. Join the Academy at my worst investment ever.com slash Academy and get free access to the short course I created called six ways to lose your money and six strategies to win. That course comes from what I've learned from all these podcasts, interviews. And now on with the show. Again, this is your worst podcast hosts Andrew Stotz, and I'm here with featured guests, Nathaniel Bibby that Daniel, are you ready to rock?

Nathanial Bibby 01:05
Ready as ever born ready?

Andrew Stotz 01:07
born ready? I have no doubt I've just been watching your YouTube channel. And I've been pretty excited by just listening to you talk about some of your accomplishments, which, you know, I was watching this one where you were on one of the TV shows ticker TV Australia and the lady was like, it's just amazing to think that you've won this, you know, designation and all that. And it was just pretty exciting. So let me Yeah, let me tell the audience a bit about you. Nathaniel Beebe ranks number one in the Asia Pacific region on these social media marketing Institute's top LinkedIn marketers list anyone best use of LinkedIn at the social media marketing awards. 2019. He is a two time finalist for the 2020 social media marketing awards for his campaigns. Monday Night Live and LinkedIn versus Instagram, baby Consulting Group has generated over 400 million in dollars in sales through LinkedIn lead generation that Daniel take a moment and filling for the tidbits about your life.

Nathanial Bibby 02:09
Thanks very much. It all sounds great. introductions very kind. Yeah, look. So I guess I'm a, I'm a marketer, I come from a sales background. And I learned very early on that the best salespeople get the best leads. And, you know, that was around a time when people were starting to use Google. So I learned how to hack my way to the top of Google. And I soon learned that hacking your way to success in marketing doesn't always work long term. And so I think one of the things that I've learned over my career is you got to be able to adapt, and at the moment, for it, certainly for the last 1010 years, but more so now more than ever, social media is where people's attention is. And, you know, we're at a point now, where a lot of the big companies are following in and so with that shift is more important for them to be experts on the front lines, giving advice, and that's really where, where my passion is, and what I do.

Andrew Stotz 03:04
In, you know, I got it, I'm so interested in what you're doing. And one of the reasons why is because I'm, in some ways, you could say I'm so not like you, you know, I use the same tools, but not to 400 million. And in the sense that, you know, also as an analyst and a linear thinker, and all that I always, you know, kind of was brought up with the idea of hard work and do all this stuff. And I said, marketing's just a side thing. And you know, all that. And it's actually easy whenever I want to turn that on, I can. But what I learned as I set up my own business, and I'm doing my own things over time, is that it's 10 times harder than what I thought, you know, to actually, to really, truly it's not it's one thing to make a little buzz and all that but to truly generate revenue from social media from LinkedIn and those things. It's much harder than you think. And just curious from your experience. When you think about a person like myself, and I know a lot of my listeners are like me kind of structured thinking and all that. What advice would you give?

Nathanial Bibby 04:06
Well, look, I think to be successful, if there's two sides to that, I think I think it is actually very simple. But the reason that you know a lot of people struggle on social media and a lot of people that when I think that solution is very easy to fix, and then it's just a lot of technical stuff, because things are changing all the time. So you know, you kind of need to be keep your finger on the pulse of what's happening, like, you know, what works on YouTube yesterday might not work today and all that kind of stuff. But from that perspective, from the macro perspective, the biggest thing with marketing and the way that it's heading at the moment is transparency like the value or sorry, the control is in the consumer consumers hands. So the best marketing strategy and the best marketers are the people with empathy. So caring basically is big because the market is or get it wrong or finding it hard to master social media. Generally thinking About how do I tell people what I want to tell them, you know, in the most effective way, by using all the algorithm hacks during the right videos? Whereas the question is wrong in the first place, the question should be what is it that my audience wants to hear from me what's going to add value to their lives. And, you know, no matter how many hacks I teach, the people that is focused on themselves and are impatient, they, you know, they can't grasp that part of it, they're always going to come across, like they're trying to do something to someone, rather than trying to help someone with something. And it's a very small difference, but it will impact everything you do online.

Andrew Stotz 05:37
That's really fascinating. And, you know, one of the best ways to think about that is think about a person that you've followed yourself. And then one day, their life kind of, you know, erupts, and they've got problems, and then they come on to their YouTube or their podcasts. And they go, you know, I'm really been behind recently, because I'm facing this challenge. And here's how I'm trying to handle that. And you know, and when that the other side of them comes out, it really makes a connection. I mean, yes, there's some people that will just walk away and go, what was that about? You just give me the content. But there are a lot of listeners that just takes you to the next level of connection.

Nathanial Bibby 06:14
Absolutely. There's a lot of bravery that goes into being vulnerable like that in times of challenge, because what a lot of people will do is they, they go, Oh, you know, I'm struggling in the moment, my business has lost all these customers Coronavirus, or whatever. Or I've got a social media audience, maybe I should just sell to all of them. And so they actually become less authentic. And they come and go, if you want to be successful, like me, you know, buy my stuff. And so they're less authentic, and they start to lose their audience. Whereas like you say, the guys that are vulnerable. And so do you know what I'm going through this, this is, this is, um, this is how my business is being affected. And, you know, I don't know, maybe I don't know the way out of it, you know, but I'm confident in my ability, this is a few things I'm going to try. That sort of level of communication and authenticity will, you know, work wonders for your brand, especially a personal brand. I think companies can do it too. But it's a lot easier for a personal

Andrew Stotz 07:10
brand. One of the things that I did with this podcast, when we were going to the kind of the height of the corona crisis was that I felt kind of bad bringing stories of loss to people in the middle of that, what could be their worst loss. And then I went out to my podcast guests, my former guests, and I asked them, I said, Look, I'm going to try to make a snippet show. And I wonder if you would just open up your iPhone, turn on the recorder, and record three minutes of advice or guidance that you would give somebody, you know, facing the challenges that we're all facing. And then I pulled each of those three minutes ones into a did episode of three people three minutes each. And then I kicked off the episode saying, you know, during this tough time, you know, let's listen to advice from some of these people about how they can handle it. I learned this and that, and then those episodes turned out to be pretty, you know, pretty good. Because when you talk about, you know, I'm writing down the words that you said, you said vulnerable, you said authentic, you said empathy. You know, we're all going through this life together. In fact, as I, you know, teach in my class, one of my classes about valuation, and they say, Well, you know, how do I forecast the company's profit? How do I really, you know, what's the secret? And I said, you make it up? And they're like, what? No, I don't know. But you know, you've been an analyst for years. I said, we're all making it up in this life. Yeah. All making it up. So. Yeah. All right. Well, let's talk about empathy and vulnerability, because now it's time to share your worst investment ever. And since no one goes into their worst investment, thinking it will be. Tell us a bit about the circumstances leading up to it, then tell us your story.

Nathanial Bibby 08:51
Ah, well, look, I think, I think that one that's probably going to be beneficial to most people listening is, you know, I went to so I, my family lived in Hong Kong, and I'm from England originally went to boarding school in Australia when I was 10. And so you can see my family maybe, you know, five, six times a year, but but constantly trying to think of ways to get their attention, you know, was very important to me what, especially my father thought about me, you know, and so a lot of what I did at university, and very early on in my career, was geared towards the opinions of other people. And you know, the people I love very much, particularly my father, and I thought it was my responsibility to solve all of his problems, you know, in business and stuff like that. And you know, when I went and worked with him in Phuket, actually not too far from where you are doing property development, and we were very successful in terms of sales and so on. And then of course, like that just buys more problems, my buys more land buys more developments. kinda long story short, like, you know, and my dad's a fantastic businessman. But if you're basing what you do in life, on other people's opinion of you, you will never actually be fulfilled, it does not actually matter too much what your friends and your parents think of you. And I just, I see so many people not doing what they want to do, because of this very reason. And it took me like another year in working in this job that I hated in Hong Kong, that, you know, I didn't really like very much. And then I, you know, tried a couple of other things, it took me probably about six or seven years to actually do something that I wanted to do. And when I started my company, no joke, most of my best friends and family, like, I could not talk to them for six months, because they literally didn't believe what I was doing. They thought I was making it up, they thought I was on drugs, they just, you know, thought I was crazy. And it's been the most rewarding thing I've ever done, you know, and I started my company with no money, no electricity, getting evicted from my apartment, just quit my job. So it's from a very, very much a place of desperation. And I think you know, what you were saying, before we hopped on the podcast about hard work, sometimes, you know, or quite often actually, the things that we put the most effort into, and come from a place of desperation, could be the most rewarding things in life, I'm just so grateful that I get to do what I love every day, and, and have an impact on people. And I just wish that more people could have that. And I just think, you know, ignoring the opinions of others, and listening to this one is a key part of that. And so when I think it's great, what you're doing talking about, you know, worse investments and your losses. But I mean, to me, like, you know, the ideal way to look at it is that there is no losses, and there are only lessons and you know, I think you either win or learn and that way, you know, mistakes are probably a good sign that you're trying hard enough, you know, and it leads you to the path to success. Hmm.

Andrew Stotz 11:56
And, you know, I was a person that was kind of brought up with the idea of getting approval, and, you know, what, what could be called people pleasing, or, you know, wanting people to like me, and all that stuff. And, you know, there's good aspects to it. But there's other challenges to it. And when I think about the risks that it poses, you know, that you live your life for someone else. And like, the worst case of that is simply that you you leave this world, having never really realized who you are, what you're doing, you know, like you just constantly just, you're a little bit of a zombie walking through this life. Yeah, just curious, when you started to realize that you had to move from a mindset of approval to a mindset of being yourself. Was it scary? Was it easy? How did it you know, what was that transition? Like? Was it fast was it took a while?

Nathanial Bibby 12:55
Well, I think because I had lost, I quit my job, because I hadn't been paid in three months was an almost dead, you know, my electricity got cut out, and I was getting evicted is all happening at once. And you know, a call, my parents asked for help. And, like, it was just for a couple of few reasons. Like they wouldn't help me. So it was the first time in my life where I realized shit, I'm on my own, like, here, what I'm like, who, who, well, somebody is going to help me. And so you're sitting this dark apartment, I got two extension cables connected them together. So I could use the power socket in the stairwell of my apartment block. And I set under a desk lamp and write my business plan. Because what happened is that feeling of desperation, where it's like, well, you're on your own here, you're on your own here. And I've just all of a sudden, it was very special moment, I felt this rush of energy, and it became a very empowering thing. You know, you're on your own. Well, that's awesome, because who else is better to help me than myself. And so I became something that I became very motivated, baited, I was very, I was just working all the time. During that stage, I probably wasn't very healthy. And, you know, my relationships with my family and friends weren't that good at that time. But what happened is, you know, I roll into, you know, a year later, I roll into Christmas, or a roll into a family function. I've got seven staff working for me, I'm making a big impact. And all of a sudden, there's something that didn't happen before is I get respect, you know. So, you know, even though it might feel uncomfortable to start, and people will judge you, they people will resist you changing altogether. When you when you succeed in that they will respect you, like you'd like they never have before.

Andrew Stotz 14:37
It's interesting, because, you know, in some ways, you know, it's a difficult one to figure out because in life, you know, you don't want to live your life looking for approval, but yet, in the end, you get respect, which is a form of approval, you know, so it's like, you never really completely get away from that we want to be seen as someone accessible as someone that's good. All right, and So let me ask you, I mean, I'm first I'll just talk about a couple of things that you made me think of from this. And the first one is that, you know, I think the challenge in life is to be more of you. Yeah, you know, the challenge is not to be like someone else a challenge not be to do like someone else. The challenge is just to be more of you. Because ultimately, you are special, you are the only one and you are your uniqueness. Now, the other thing that it reminds me of is when, when I was I had actually been in rehab when I was younger, and I graduated after three different rehabs and I was finally clean. And this was a 1993. And I graduated from high school, I was in June 1983. And my mom said, well, you turn 18 and, you know, in a couple in a month, and when you turn 18, you got to move out. And I just thought, Well, why wait a minute, I just, I just made it through all this. And now and she's like, No, you got to go out and do it on your own. And I remember my dad taking me to the apartment that I got, which was just a room in a boarding house near University. And, you know, that night that first night, you know, I just got on my knees and cried, I was just like, man, I was scared. And I didn't have tools to deal with it. I mean, I was just barely out of rehab, I was a very big risk that I could go back and start using drugs or whatever else. You know, I had a 12 step program as my guide, really, and the friends around me, but also I didn't have an education, you know, I didn't have money to go to university. And I knew at that moment that you know, yeah, like you say, there comes a point in time where you realize, only I can get myself out of this, and, and then you start to throw yourself into it. And then I went, you know, different directions. But ultimately, I realized that I've got to get educated, and I've got to figure out a way to do it. And there was a woman that walked that came along in my life that worked for the state government. And she came up with the idea of getting me into university through a minor grant from the government. And I took that, and that was the beginning of my university education. And the last in my university education was when I was 50, when I finished my PhD, so you know, we suffer, and then we fight ourselves out. And it's through that fight that we create the great things, anything you'd add.

Nathanial Bibby 17:20
I just just congratulations. That's a fantastic story. And you know, you're going through something like that, it does give you the opportunity to get to know yourself on a much deeper level. So yeah, well done. That's very inspiring. Yeah,

Andrew Stotz 17:36
yeah, I mean, I think the thing that I took away from it too, is it Truthfully, I was really pretty happy. I like worked in a factory, I was clean and sober. I was hanging around people that were in 12 step programs, and we were talking about, you know, how to stay off of drugs and how to stay out of that trouble. And, and I didn't have any money almost at all. And I was happy as a lark. And I always go back to that time. And remember that things don't bring happiness, you know, what brings happiness is peace with yourself, good people around you. And you can make it through anything, you can make it through losing everything, you can make it through losing all the money that you have, you're going to have to go back to the absolute beginnings, but you have yourself you have the good people around you, and you can make it. So that's always been an inspiration. And I know during these COVID times for the listeners out there, that you know, take that as an inspiration, you can make it through this. So based upon what you've learned from this story, and what you continue to learn what one action would you recommend our listeners take to avoid suffering the same fate?

Nathanial Bibby 18:41
Okay, well, I think that I think finding what you're passionate about is a good start. Because mainly because like if, especially if you're a business owner, but I mean, in anything in life, like if you want to be used to achieve a certain amount of success with it, you're going to run into some big challenges. And the problem is if you're not passionate about it, you probably give up and the people that are passionate will outwork you. So that's the first thing. The second thing is like it's quite, especially if your business is struggling or you've lost some money recently or lost, you know, relationships. It's hard to focus on anything other than your own needs and what you want. I found that if my business is struggling, it's normally because I'm focusing on myself for what I want and being selfish. But the secret to being good at business is adding more value. And I think that the secret to life is actually giving the secret to living is giving up. That's what Tony Robbins says. And I think that sometimes we just need to remind ourselves of that. And if you make that shift, and you just start adding value without expectation in my experience, all the things that you need will get taken care of The world will find a way to meet your human needs, whether it be your financial needs and your business, or relationships or what have you. If you get out of your own head and focus on giving and helping other people, I think that's a, I think that's a big part of what you know your story and the one I shared earlier.

Andrew Stotz 20:19
Yeah, I mean, I'm just really touched by that. And it really reminds me I mean, the great thing about this podcast is that we share stories. So I have another story. It was 1998. And we just gone to the Asian financial crisis, my business that I started coffee works with my best friend Dale was on its knees, we were just struggling, I lost my job as an investment banker. And my sister had called and said she had cancer. And I got to come home and see her. And within one week, after I got home to see her, she passed away, just three beautiful daughters. And then I stayed there for a month. And then I came back to Thailand to severe depression, severe depression and no way out. Because when the Asian financial crisis happened in 1998, the Thai economy contracted by 11%. And it just wasn't really much you could do except just sit there and not, you know, not, not drown in. And then I remember being feeling pretty depressed about the business about the conditions. And I know a lot of people feel that way right now. And then losing my sister, you know, it's just like, what's the point in life? What's the point? You know, why am I working so hard? Or why am I studying so hard? And I didn't know what to do. But I did something that reminded me of by you talking about it, and that is, somehow I found out about in a rescue place for kids. And there was this guy that would go out, he and his wife would rescue kids that were in distress situations abuse, sexual abuse, physical abuse, and they needed volunteers. So I just decided that I would just show up there. And I showed up there. And you know, it's just tearful thinking about it. I was focused on myself and all the pain I was going through. And then I see these kids, and I look at their stories of being raped and abused, and just thrown away. And then I get there, and I start to play ball, and all they really want to do is play anyways. So I thought, I'm just gonna have fun here and play with these kids. And I just thrown a ball back and forth this kid. And then we were playing basketball with a bunch of the kids, and they were just jumping around and so excited. I thought, you know, you have every right. This kid has every right to sit in a corner and be depressed for what the treatment that they have received from their parents or their friends or the people around them. And yet, this kid just wants to play with this ball, and go throw a ball with me. And I just thought how can you not take inspiration from that and realize that my problems are small, my problems are mine, and they feel big, and they feel like that. But the reality is, is that if this kid can rise up in that situation, then dammit, I can too. And so you reminded me of that. And that story always inspires me go out and help other people, like you said, and help other people and it will take you out of the trouble that you face.

Nathanial Bibby 23:09
You know, the zero chance probability of us being born is like the probability of this firm meaning the egg and all that sort of stuff. It's 400,000 to one of you wake up in the morning, just remind yourself the fact that you're even here is a miracle. Like not you didn't have to do anything to earn this gift. Somebody loved you enough to give it to you, your mother your father came together in the universe and that now here you are, I mean, 140 thousand one. And, and we just take it for granted like that, you know it?

Andrew Stotz 23:41
Yeah. And for one to get to birth. Yeah, it's another you know, it's another you know, infinite number of risks that we face to get to this age, you know, so yeah, we're

Nathanial Bibby 23:53
also lucky to be here, you know, hey, ma'am. And I think we the COVID the best I mean, because it's it may I had a panic attack when it when I first realized that my family wouldn't be able to come visit me and stuff like that as well. I know what we call a housewarming plans, and the day of the housewarming is one phone call after the other car car mechanic calm. We can't come little nephews just been born can't see him as I've been a panic attack. And then I am connected with a guy called dr. john demartini, who I'm you know, follow a lot and he said, there's only one thing you need to do is get out a piece of paper and he goes, ask yourself a better question, write down 10 things that could answer it. The question was, how is what is happening right now serving me specifically? You know, how is what happening right now? So for me specifically, because quite often, we will just like, you know, accentuate the negatives and not look into the positives. But the reality is that there's always both sides to every situation is just whether or not you see the positives from it. So this could be a good opportunity for you to to learn it could be opportunity for you to work on your health, it could be an opportunity for you actually to reconnect with family members that you haven't connected with, or think about your career or your so many different things that you could be a benefit of Coronavirus. We just got to ask ourselves better questions.

Andrew Stotz 25:11
Beautiful. All right. Last question. What's your number one goal for the next 12 months.

Nathanial Bibby 25:16
So my number one goal for next 12 months is to turn 36 years old, so I'm gonna make this one easy to achieve.

Andrew Stotz 25:24
Alright, something tells me you win 12 months from now nine out to you. You're gonna say I did it.

Nathanial Bibby 25:30
Exactly. I will celebrate.

Andrew Stotz 25:33
All right, well, listeners, there you have it another story of laws to keep you winning. Remember to go to my worst investment ever.com slash Academy to get access to my short course. six ways to lose your money and six strategies to win. As we end the Daniel, I want to thank you again for coming on the show. And on behalf of a Stotz Academy I hereby award you alumni status, returning your worst investment ever into your best teaching moment. Do you have any parting words for the audience?

Nathanial Bibby 26:01
Now just really appreciate you having me on and keep doing what you're doing. I love seeing people adding value. It's fantastic.

Andrew Stotz 26:08
Fantastic. All right. Well, that's a wrap on another great story to help us create, grow and most importantly, protect our well fellow risk takers. This is Andrew Stotz, your worst podcast host saying I'll see you on the upside.

 

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Dr. Andrew Stotz, CFA is the CEO of A. Stotz Investment Research, a company that provides institutional and high net worth investors with ready-to-invest stock portfolios that aim to beat the benchmark through superior stock selection.

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