Ep164: Richard Flint – To Win in Life Learn to Find, Face, and Control Your Biggest Fear

By Andrew Stotz | 12/06/2019 |

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Guest profile

Richard Flint has been speaking and changing lives for over 30 years. His staying power comes from a strong following of corporate clients and associations that invite him back year after year. As one of America’s top personal development speakers and coaches, he travels and speaks over 175 times per year and personally coaches businesses and individuals while on the road. Considered a well-guarded secret by many, Richard Flint inspires, teaches, and helps people and companies to transform into their Power To Be, so they can do or have anything they want. Interestingly, he does it without you having to set goals.

Richard is on a mission, which he calls a crusade, to help people have their Best Life Possible. He knows how through his own experience.

“Smarter is not being the most knowledgeable person. But it’s being able to use life’s experiences because I think life is just a library of experiences.”

Richard Flint

Worst investment ever

Born into a world where love did not exist

Richard was born in New Orleans. He never got to know who his dad is and his birth mother was a prostitute and so he was the result of a one night stand. When he was two weeks old, he was given into a family where the man wanted a son but the wife didn’t want him.

She found every opportunity to prove to him that he was unloved, unwanted. From when he was six, he would repeatedly tell him that he was the stupidest kid she’d ever met, that he was never going to amount to anything in life and that she was sorry they adopted him.

Out in the cold alone at a tender age

When he was 15 his adoptive mother told him that he had to get a job and pay room and board to live in her house. A year later, at 16, she threw him out. He was working at an IGA grocery store in Ardmore, Oklahoma, when his dad brought him his suitcase and informed him that his mother had decided, Richard could no longer live in her house.

Defeated, Richard walked into downtown Ardmore, Oklahoma and checked into hotel Ardmore. The staff looked at him funny but he had the cash to pay for the room.

To live or to die?

When he walked into his room on the seventh floor, he walked straight to the window. He didn’t even turn the light on. He sat on the ledge and for three hours he tried to decide whether to live or die.

After three hours, he figured out on that ledge that if he jumped his adoptive mother would win and he wasn’t going to give that lady that kind of victory. Richard called his best friend’s dad who helped him decide the next course of his life. He decided he was never going back home. So he helped him find a room with a lady who was the editor of The Daily newspaper in Ardmore, he paid her $5 a week to live in her house.

Facing his fears head-on

After some years Richard realized that he had believed all the things that his adoptive mother had told him. His worst investment was accepting what his mother said as truth because parents don’t lie. This held him back from his true success.

Eventually, he decided to confront his adoptive mom because the more he refused to confront her the more he validated her. He was extremely afraid of doing it but he chose to face his fears. He never got to talk to his mom because she couldn’t face him but he made peace with his past and it’s all behind him now.

Lessons learned

Not everyone who says they love you loves you

Don’t believe everyone who says they love you and want the best for you. Observe their behavior because behavior never lies. Hear everything people say to you, but study what they do because trust is built on behavior.

The greatest strength you have is your belief

Trust and have faith in yourself because that’s what allows you to be an original and not a carbon copy.

Don’t be fearful of today

Living and hiding in yesterday makes you fearful of today. When you bring the fear of yesterday to today, you don’t have today but an extension of yesterday. So let go of and face your fears from yesterday so that you can enjoy the freedom of today.

Stay in tune with what God wants for your life

Everyone has a story. You either use your story to justify your fears or to free yourself from it. You use your story to either blame others or to hold them accountable.

Andrew’s takeaways

Your past struggles shape, what you share with the world

Richard had a truly painful story of his youth. But he took that painful story and used it to shape what he is sharing with the world today. That makes him authentic. When you’re truly authentic to your struggles and to the things that shape you, you get tremendous value.

Learn how to face your fears head-on and turn them into a positive

There are chances that you cannot escape the thing that you fear the most in your life. This fear is going to affect the rest of your life either negatively or positively. What will determine whether this fear will affect you positively or negatively is your ability to find it, face it, and control it. Once you face it, just as Richard faced his mom, the fear disappears. So know how to confront your fears.

Actionable advice

Before you make any decision in your life, no matter what it is, take a deep breath. Why? Because it slows you down emotionally. Then ask yourself if that decision will feed your confusion or strengthen your clarity.

No. 1 goal for the next 12 months

Richard’s number one desire for the next 12 months is to finish the two books he’s working on right now. The two books are going to be titled So What’s Your Excuse?, and I’m Sorry, I Didn’t Mean to Pee on You.

Parting words

“Strengthen your belief, your trust and your faith in yourself and you will overcome the limits that you self imposed on yourself.”

Richard Flint