Ep532: Mariah & Byron Edgington – When You Face Challenges, Reach Out

Andrew Stotz 00:02
Hello fellow risk takers and welcome to my worst investment ever stories of loss to keep you winning. In our community. We know that to win in investing, you must take risks but to win big, you've got to reduce it. Ladies and gentlemen, I'm on a mission to help 1 million people reduce risk in their lives to reduce risk in your life, go to my worst investment ever.com today and take the risk reduction assessment I created from the lessons I've learned from more than 500 guests fellow risk takers, this is your worst podcast hosts Andrew Stotz, from a Stotz Academy, and I'm here with featured guests, Mariah and Byron, Edgington. Mariah and Byron, are you ready to join the mission?

Mariah Edgington 00:48
Absolutely. We've

Byron Edgington 00:50
been ready for weeks, weeks.

Andrew Stotz 00:54
Then, we are really looking forward to and we've had a fun chat leading up to this turning on the recorder here and I think there's a lot of value that you guys are going to be able to bring to the audience. So let me introduce you to the audience. Mariah Edgington, a retired critical nurse who integrated holistic practices in her practice. Brian found these tools so effective that after retirement, she integrated them into a mindset coaching practice. She is a soon to be New York Times best selling author, speaker and contributor to biz catalyst. 360. Now Byron Edgington is a retired military and commercial helicopter pilot, Vietnam veteran, award winning author, speaker and contributor also to biz catalyst 360, and travel awaits magazine, Mariah and Byron co authored the first in a series of books called Journey well, you are more than enough. rediscover your passion, purpose, and love of yourself in life, their book guidebook, this is the book a guide book an online course and it's going to be available very, very soon. In fact, you can go to Moriah edgington.com, which I'll have the links in the show notes so that you can get access to the book or pre access as we're waiting for it to come out. So Mariah environment, take a minute and tell us what value you bring to this world.

Mariah Edgington 02:32
Wow, thank you so much. That's kind of a loaded question, Andrew. But we find value in so much. We look for abundance in life. And we found you, which gave us a lot of abundance and a lot of awareness that we didn't have before.

Byron Edgington 02:50
Yeah, that's right. And I'll second then I'll go a little bit further than that. What we bring is, we didn't realize this until just a short time ago, but because of our past professional lives, me as a pilot, Mariah as a nurse, we have spent our professional lives raising people up lifting them up me literally every time I took off, and Mariah getting people past their medical or their traumatic injuries and such to get their lives back. You know, that's, we used to think it was what we did. But we found that it's for who we are. And so that's, that's what we do. And that's what really around about fashion. That's what led us to write journey. Well, you're more than enough.

Andrew Stotz 03:35
Tell us a bit about that. Like, what for the person who gets access to it and gets into that material? What are they going to gain from that? What benefits do they get?

Mariah Edgington 03:46
Well, we like to help people become aware of the abundance that's all around them. And in our lives, and in this world. And in this time, specifically, people are overwhelmed and they're exhausted. They really hear bad news on a regular basis. It's fed to us daily. And this, we like to say is almost the reverse of that.

Byron Edgington 04:11
Yeah, but it's good. So we call it a corrective to all of that negativity out there. And we focus on the positive, we focus on the abundance, we focus on what we have in front of us in our daily lives. And the fact that despite what we hear from social media and from various news outlets, the world is getting to be a better place. I mean, it doesn't seem like that on a day to day basis. But the world is getting better. And here I'll give you a very, very short example of that. And a book I read just recently called Abundance, the Maasai Mara tribe in Central Africa. These folks use cell phones to do their daily rounds their business they, they use it to pay bills and so forth. Those people have more computing power in their hands right now than the President of the United States had 15 years ago. You know, and that's a very short example. But that's the direction the world is going. And we're drawing attention to all of that journey well,

Andrew Stotz 05:17
so if I listen, if I hear what you're saying, first is awareness. And I would say, there's two types of awareness, maybe that I'm hearing from you. The first is awareness of the abundance that we have around us. And the second one, you kind of mentioned is that we're being bombarded by maybe news, negative social media. And so maybe there's an awareness also about, be careful about what you expose yourself to because you know, it can be pretty overwhelming, what comes in? And then I think you guys talk about choices and decisions. Maybe we just hit those two points, and then we'll get on with the big question.

Mariah Edgington 05:53
Well, we do know that everything is a choice. And once you look at it, and you're able to see that, oh, my goodness, yes, maybe I could turn that off. And I'll make a decision to watch less TV and start reading a good book such as journey while you are more than enough. Yep. Or listen to fantastic podcasts like yours, and really fill your life with positivity and things that are not as negative coming in.

Byron Edgington 06:23
Yeah. And in fact, we one of our chapters in the book we titled a creative mind and competitive mind. And we're good just a little bit because we're not neuroscientists by any stretch. But we talked about a little bit about how our brains were, we didn't evolve, our brains didn't evolve to think our brains evolved to keep us safe and alive. So we're immediately drawn to anything that gives us fear and gives us tell us about danger. You know, and this is the amygdala, this is way in the reptile part of our brains. And it's still there today. And these various news outlets, I'm not going to get off on a rant here. But the various news outlets know this, they know what captures eyeballs. And they know what holds our attention. And that's why they feed us all this stuff. It's just like they say if it bleeds, it leads. So our book is different, I doubt that we'll sell more than five copies. Because we concentrate on the positive, we tell folks look, things are getting better, you're

Andrew Stotz 07:36
sure you're gonna sell much more than that. Because I believe that by implementing these steps and these ideas that you're talking about awareness, abundance choices and decisions, that people are going to have a transformation just like six weeks ago, I deleted Facebook and YouTube off my mobile phone. And that helped me to improve my own transformation in the areas that I want. Maybe you could just speak about if somebody goes through the book, takes all the notes goes through the courses and all that. What is that transformation that you feel like they're going to come out the other end with? And then we'll go on to the main question of the podcast.

Byron Edgington 08:16
Yeah, let me talk about that. Because, in fact, I think we're on the same page here, because you talk about transformations and community. And one of the things that you will notice right away, is that you will be transformed in to find a way to switch things around, we have one chapter his words matter. And we have a selection of negative words and how you can put them into a positive context. And we can do this, it is a choice. And if you choose to find the positive, and just just missed the negative words, it's bound to change the your mental energy and your mindset cannot be otherwise.

Andrew Stotz 09:04
It's hard to believe that, you know, some of the listeners like Oh, come on, it's just words and all that, but I'll tell the story of myself. Many years ago, I was the head of Research at a big investment bank. And I was always busy. And you know, you could say I was stressed and all that. And so people would come to me and they're like how you doing? I'm so busy. I'm so stressed. That's what I communicated. In one day, I kind of saw myself and what I was saying and what I was becoming. And I thought to myself, I don't want to be that person. And so I came up with a mantra that I started saying every morning and that is very simple. All my words are positive. I repeated that mantra all the time. All my words are positive, all my words are positive. All my words are positive. And basically, what I found was that it raised awareness when I started speaking negatively, and it raised that cognitive dissonance that wait a minute, all my words are positive, but I'm saying something negative stop. And by repeating that mantra, all my words are positive. After, you know, a couple of months, it really shifted my mind. And then about a couple of years later, someone said to me, I, they asked me like, how do you stay positive and all that, and I told them the story that I just told you to see. That's why I never hear you criticize other people. That's why I never hear you gossip. That's the key is like, wow, I didn't even think but the ongoing impact that in the compounding effect of that was that I became and more attractive person to the world out there. And so that's my personal story. I guess you guys got even more about that in the book and in the courses and in the whole experience that you're bringing.

Mariah Edgington 10:50
So proud of you. That is absolutely cool. Thank you for sharing that story.

Andrew Stotz 10:56
Yeah. And well done. I think I'm excited. I'm excited for what you guys are going to bring out. And I think now it's time to share your worst investment ever. And since no one goes into their worst investment thinking it will be. Tell us a bit about the circumstances leading up to then tell us your story.

Byron Edgington 11:15
Or story. Okay, should I?

Mariah Edgington 11:17
Well, first of all on get set a little bit of the preface about this. It was a time we lived in paradise. Yes, we did. We lived on the island of Kauai, where we just really enjoyed it was beautiful. We knew we'd stay there forever.

Byron Edgington 11:34
prettiest place on Earth. Yep. Okay. You take? Yeah, I was working as a nurse there. And I was flying tourists around the island all day long. And it was a terrible job. Somebody had to do it. Paid in well. So you know, and I had to pinch myself, they were throwing money at me for flying people around this place. It was idyllic. I mean, I just was pinching myself. Well, you know, then we felt like we got kicked out of the Garden of Eden because I lost my clearance to fly. I couldn't fly without a medical clearance. And because of some minor medical difficulty, I lost my medical. And so I lost the job. And we had to make a tough choice. And we did and at the same time, it turned out that my father was dying back in Ohio. And so we decided to go to Columbus, Ohio, to be with my dad. And it was just probably one of the lowest points of my life for a number of reasons, not the least of which I have lost a job and I was born to do. But then my father was dying. And so one thing it was another that made it worse and And so that led us in to making the worst investments, frankly, that we have ever made. You know, I didn't have any I didn't I don't have a cousin Vinnie. But okay, so should I tell this? Yeah, okay, I'll just keep going here. I got into a situation I got into an occupation, but I have absolutely no qualification. And no inclination to do I got into real estate. And not only was it I, all the realtors in town, were heading for the exits. At the time, not only was that, but I had no interest in selling houses and helping people do that it was a it's an honorable profession. I don't take anything away from people. But I have no business being in real estate.

Mariah Edgington 13:40
And the reason he went into real estate was because somebody had suggested it, and no one told us to ever check into the fact that he had lost his occupation, that he was really disabled. So we left all the money on the table for forever even being able to get any kind of disability insurance that he'd paid into for years. And so that was a huge mistake. We never considered him losing his air medical license. Never occurred

Byron Edgington 14:17
to me for or

Mariah Edgington 14:19
air license.

Byron Edgington 14:20
Well, it wasn't. You know, I didn't It's on me. I didn't seek out any kind of assistance or advice or anything like that. I Just plowed ahead. I thought I took this person's advice. I got into real estate and he said, yeah, there's a lot of money in real estate. And I said, Yeah, well, that's true. There's a lot of my money in it somewhere. But anyway, long story short, we put a whole lot of money into that and it didn't go well and within a year or two I was out of it and we were farther in the hole than we had been.

Andrew Stotz 14:54
And can you remember the conversation that you had when you realize that This didn't turn out the way you wanted and you've missed this opportunity on the disability and the income didn't come. I mean, is there a day that you can remember?

Byron Edgington 15:11
Yeah, probably the day that I turned my license back into the board and just, you know, you know, tossed all my something in here, the last couple of months, I was in the business. Some guy, finally, the little light bulb came on in my head when this guy said this. And I wish somebody had told me this one sooner. He said, You know, the only people making any money in real estate, are people selling things to realtors. You know, and so, so that finally made sense to me. And I decided, You know what, enough of this, when you're in a hole, the best advice is to quit digging. So I stopped beating. And I think that was the day I turned in my license to the board and said, enough, I'm not doing this anymore.

Andrew Stotz 15:56
And for this type of thing to happen when you're 25, or 30 years old is one thing. But as we get older, when these types of things happen, it can be very scary, like, Oh, my God, if I now have to figure out a way to get this back and make sure that I've got stability in my retirement and all that. Did you have any feelings about that? Or how are you? How was that going in your head?

Mariah Edgington 16:17
Yeah, it was kind of scary, because we knew that we needed. And as you know, most people have to have health insurance because cost of living is so so I took a job with the hospital so that we could have some stability there that we weren't really necessarily planning to do. But it ended up being okay, and you do you kind of work through stuff. But I think our biggest takeaway, and the things we really want people to know is when you get disabled from a job no matter what it is, check into disability insurance, because that's why you're paying into it for years. It's not a bad thing. And we really felt like it was like, well, first of all, we didn't even think of it. No, that's right. Never correct, then we want any handouts. Well, we didn't think of it that way. And it's not a handout. It's insurance. That's what it was for.

Andrew Stotz 17:10
So let's just think about it. What how would you summarize the lessons that you learned? Obviously, one is look for this. But are there any other lessons that you would summarize from this?

Byron Edgington 17:20
Yes, I can, I can speak to that pretty clearly, because particularly for people who have a career that they love, that people who don't even consider work, like I did, it wasn't work. To me, it was just it was who I was, you know, it defined who I was, and what I lost that a number of things happened, you know, I was in a pretty deep hole. But one of the things right away, I had to find some success. And I didn't realize this would happen, but because of the way the universe works. Somebody, you know, a number of people heard that, that need, and I started getting these offers right and left from people wanting to sell me this and show me how to make a million bucks doing this that the other thing, no, and I fell for some of these things. And so you have to realize right away, when you're in that position, you're pretty vulnerable. The best thing that you can do in a situation like that, looking back on it, is when you're that needy, when you're lost like that, don't do anything for a while until you have a better idea of who you are and what you've lost and what you would like to do going forward. And so, you know, in the disability thing that was just a real oversight we should have. But

Andrew Stotz 18:45
yeah. So maybe out a guide.

Byron Edgington 18:50
No, go ahead. I'm sorry.

Andrew Stotz 18:52
Maybe I'll, I'll summarize a couple of things that I take away. You know, first of all, for the listeners out there, you may or may not be eligible for disability, you may or may not live in a country that has disability insurance. You may, it depends, but I think the first lesson that I kind of take away from it is the idea of be aware of what's going on in your life. And what's available to you. You know, for instance, in Thailand, I learned pretty quickly that I could apply for permanent residency, after a certain number of years. And the minute I was became aware of that, then, you know, I was able to implement that and take that benefit. And don't be afraid, take the benefit because I wanted to talk about the second thing. And you mentioned Mariah, I think you mentioned this in that is we didn't want to take any handouts. Yeah, you know, it's one thing you know, particularly there's certain families, there's certain traditions in different groups of people that are like we don't want handouts. We can do it on our own. And I know I have been a type of person that says I can do this on my own. And there's a whole world out there, ladies and gentlemen, who are willing to help. And that brings me to my third point, and that is community. Sometimes when we get into trouble or things aren't going well, we turn inward. And we're in pain, we may not want to share it, or we may not want to bother other people with it, we may think that they don't understand or whatever. Well, I have to solve this myself. And I know that this listeners out there today that are struggling with an issue and thinking, I'm not going to bother other people with it, I'm going to solve it myself. And what I would say is, one of the big solutions to this situation is talk to other people about it people that you trust, and that's where I would say, this is the value of community, that you have a few people and you share, not just hey, how's it going? Nice to talk, how you doing? But really, hey, look, I've got this issue. I wonder if you listen and give me some thoughts or whatever. So my, those are my thoughts about what you've shared is anything you would add to that?

Mariah Edgington 21:07
I think you hit it right there with the community. They now have a lot of people have mastermind groups where they're involved with people who can help expand your thought, and somebody else may say, did you think of this or that. And that's exactly what you're indicating here. And I think there's such value there.

Byron Edgington 21:25
Yeah, and particularly here in the US. We all have this kind of this cowboy mentality, like you referred to us, we are determined to do on our own, we don't want to hear anybody else's input. We don't want to expose ourselves as needy or anything like that. And we really hurt ourselves doing that. Because, you know, seeking professional help seeking a community that can help you is by far away the best thing you can do for yourself.

Andrew Stotz 21:54
So based on what you've learned from this experience, and what you continue to learn, what action, would you recommend our listeners take to avoid suffering the same fate?

Byron Edgington 22:07
Gosh, I guess if I had to put it in just a short version like that is wait and seek help? Yeah, perfect. Perfect.

Andrew Stotz 22:16
Now, what's a resource that you'd recommend for our listeners of your own or any others?

Byron Edgington 22:25
Yeah, gosh, you know, of course, it's a double edged sword these days, the internet and social media. But that is a resource. Let's face it. I mean, we didn't have it 20 years ago, and

Mariah Edgington 22:38
you find a lot of answers on it. Yeah, if it's used

Byron Edgington 22:41
correctly, it's a big help. So

Andrew Stotz 22:44
it can be a way to reach out. I was in a Facebook group, in a particular course. And there was a guy that was posting somewhat similar things as me. He's, and then one day, he said, Hey, why don't we do a video call. And he lives in Georgia, he's about 30 years old. And before I knew it, every Saturday morning, he and I were talking by video, and we became friends. So there are there is, there are ways to reach out on social media. And of course, for the listeners out there, just go to Mariah edgington.com. I'll have a link in the show notes. And you'll be able to see the ultimate resource that's coming, which is their upcoming book. Now, last question, what is your number one goal for the next 12 months?

Mariah Edgington 23:30
We are about to publish this soon to be number one New York Times International best selling book journey while you are more than enough. rediscover your passion, purpose, and love of yourself and life. And that's a big goal. But this is a series as well. So following that there'll be a book for mothers and daughters to rediscover that relationship. And then for couples as well.

Byron Edgington 23:59
That's right. Yeah. Yes. And Mercado planning as one of the titles that will cover end of life matters. Yeah. So ultimately, ultimately, within the next 12 months, we mentioned our major goal. And we should put that out here today as well. With the proceeds in various other places, we intend to open a safe house for at risk LGBT youth, especially trans youth, because we're losing too many of these young, young kids. They have a gift that they can give to all of us and we're losing them and we need to stop that we need to offer them a safe place to go.

Andrew Stotz 24:40
And that's valuable. I can tell you at the age of 16, I was in a safe house because I was addicted to drugs and alcohol and I was struggling with my family and running away and getting in trouble with the law and all kinds of stuff. And the safe environment that was provided for me to kind of get my thoughts together and get my life together, of course brought tremendous value. So, for all of us out there, we look forward to you achieving your goals and reaching your mission. So listeners, there you have it another story of loss to keep you winning. If you haven't yet taken the risk reduction assessment, I challenge you to go to my worst investment ever.com right now and start building wealth, the easy way by reducing risk. As we conclude, I want to thank you both for joining the mission. And on behalf of a Stotz Academy, I hereby award you alumni status for turning your worst investment ever into your best teaching moment. Do you have any parting words for the audience?

Mariah Edgington 25:52
We'd like to thank you so much. It's been a delight to be here.

Byron Edgington 25:57
wonderful opportunity. Thank you so much.

Andrew Stotz 25:59
And thank you for sharing so much. And that's a wrap on another great story to help us create, grow and protect our well fellow risk takers. This is your worst podcast hose Andrew Stotz saying thank you for joining the mission. And I'll see you on the upside.