Ep273: Luke Fenwick – What Is Your Legacy in Life?

Andrew Stotz 00:02
Hello fellow risk takers and welcome to my worst investment ever stories of loss to keep you winning. In our community we know that to win in investing you must take risk but to win big, you've got to reduce it. This episode is sponsored by a Stotz Academy which offers online courses to help investors better manage their stock portfolios. aspiring professionals to learn how to value any company in the world business leaders to make their companies financially world class, and even beginners to implement a simple lifetime investment plan. Just go to my worst investment ever.com to get free access to my short course six ways to lose your money and six strategies to win where I share the six lessons I've learned from all of these darn podcasts. Fellow risk takers, this is your worst podcast host Andrew Stotz. And I'm here with featured guest, Luke Fenwick Luke, are you ready to rock?

Luke Fenwick 00:57
I am. Here we go. forward to this. Thank you so much for the opportunity.

Andrew Stotz 01:03
Yeah, I'm really looking forward to our discussion I've got from our pre pod, you know, pre interview discussion. I'm getting a feeling like this is going to be an interesting story. So all right, well, let me introduce you to the audience. Luke Fenwick has had a corporate career spanning over 20 years across numerous industries, including luxury goods and professional sports and organizations such as Louis Vuitton, Mo a moet Hennessy and Melbourne, Melbourne united basketball club. He is a father and husband and choose to follow His purpose and become a life impact coach to help people gain awareness not only of their vision and goals, but their deeply held beliefs in order to create positive impact in their lives. His official teaching is derived from the Jay Shetty genius school for life coaches, however, his approach with clients has been shaped by coaching and mentoring people over 20 years. And by studying the experts loop, take a minute and filling for the tidbits about your life.

Luke Fenwick 02:08
Yeah, wow, you've kind of hit the nail on their head there. So you know, thank you once again for the opportunity to to talk to you and you know, have this discussion today. I've certainly been fortunate to work in you know, many amazing organizations over time and pray the good ones that you're talking about there. I you know, cut my teeth in retire many years ago. But yeah, I'm, I'm a proud father of a 27 month old boy, you know, husband, to my, to my, you know, wife, Julie, who's from France. That's a story for another time, possibly. But um, yeah, you know, I'm much like, my swag many men at this point in time, you know, enjoying being a dad and learning as much as I can along the way to be a really good father and a really good husband. You know, and, and just holding on for the ride, which is 2020, but might have outside outsiders work, and I do all the kinds of things in regards to you know, staying fit, you know, I mean, in the garage at 630, age morning, you know, for my, you know, health kind of routine, and, you know, just love all that kind of stuff and love getting outdoors and spending time and you know, all those things that you could say that many people enjoy doing?

Andrew Stotz 03:20
Yeah, you know, I'm interested in your bio, you talk about this, this concept of the way you help people is not only about vision, and goals, I think a lot of coaches help us to kind of think, what's our vision? What's our goal, but you talk about their deeply held beliefs? Can you just tell us, you know, what do you mean by that? And like, what's different about the way you approach helping people through coaching?

Luke Fenwick 03:45
Yeah, like, it's, it's a really, really good question, right. And it's kind of a goes into some of the challenges or maybe where I went wrong, which may, we'll get to later that often we go, like, here is, is the goal that I'm trying to get to, like, here's this big thing all the way down the road. Or sometimes we say, here's some things that we want to do in the short term. So like, the little goals along the way. And then often, you know, they kind of fall over and we don't, we don't achieve them. And we start going well, why, you know, what did I do wrong? Or, you know, was it something that happened? Or do I blame someone else? Or, you know, why did I not get to my goal, and a lot of the time, I believe, personally, it's around our beliefs, and what I mean by beliefs, the beliefs, the things that we've often form, many, many years ago, and they start to shape our lives and sometimes they push us forward. And sometimes they pull us back. And if you don't have a strong handle on your beliefs, and the things that shape your life and what you believe around yourself, in regards to you know, do you think of yourself as a winner like, do you believe that you will win in situations when you believe that you might be someone that That, you know, always misses out or doesn't achieve your beliefs, then that will impact your goals and your ability to get there. So I enjoy spending a lot of time with my clients to really dig in to understand those beliefs in order to figure out how are they impacting on their ability to get to their goals? Hmm,

Andrew Stotz 05:21
that's fascinating. That is a goal that Yeah,

Luke Fenwick 05:23
like, that's where the goals are, right? Because you're really kind of, in here, lifting the hood, you know, some of these things you've heard before, but you're lifting the hood, and you're really trying to go deep with someone and get below the surface. And as soon as you start to dig in there, and people can realize, well, you know, what, like, I've been holding on to this belief, since I was a teenager, that I'm not enough, or I'm not worthy. And like humans, so many people have, we all have that at some stage or another. But some people hold on to that kind of conversation in their mind for 20 3040 years. And then wonder why things have not, you know, been as awesome as they could be like, this is not about just people that might not be doing, you know, well, this is sometimes people are doing pretty good. But there's something that's holding them back. And quite often it's, it's their beliefs.

Andrew Stotz 06:11
Interesting, you know, I have a story about that with a friend of mine. She was when she was young, she was her parents basically took her to a boarding school and kind of almost pretty much never came back. And she came from a family that had money. And they paid for her boarding school, but she stayed there. And it's told me a story about one time when she was young, you know, we're talking about, you know, I don't know, 11 years old, that her mother said, you know, I'll be there this Friday, and then I'm going to spend the weekend with you. So she was eagerly waiting for a mother on the steps of the of the, this private school in Thailand here. And then, you know, eventually, after waiting a few hours, they hadn't hadn't mastered the school came out and said, you probably ought to come in, she doesn't look like she's coming. And she told me about this. And, and basically, she went to see a psychiatrist, that was a pretty impressive woman that she saw. And she had one session with this psychiatrist, that was fascinating. And really, she was a new woman after this session, and that psychiatrists basically said, when she talked about the story, she said, Okay, see that doll over there, you know, across the room, like, that's you sitting on the steps. And I want you to walk over there, and pick that dog up that doll up, and bring that doll home. And, you know, it was obviously a lot of pain and crying and all that. But when she came out of that session, I mean, it was just like she was a new person. And it's a great example of, you know, when you become aware that she hadn't been aware of how this belief of not being worthy and all that and not being, you know, being abandoned. Once she became aware of that belief, the next step was, how does she let that go? and not let it ruin her? And I'm just curious, from your experience, you know, it's one thing to help someone become aware of a belief, but how do you help them to get rid of it? Or get beyond it or overcome it?

Luke Fenwick 08:08
Yeah, it looks really, really good question. And that's, that's when I suppose a lot of the hard work starts to come in, because all of a sudden, you're starting to try and find a mind shift in someone and show them like the opportunities and God in their life that can start to form by letting go of these habits. So originally, you start going, Okay, well, you know, why is this in your life? And where did it come from? And then how is that impacting your life? And how is that holding you back? And when you start to have those realizations, then you can start to bring in some of these other pieces in regards to Okay, so where are we? Where is your life going to go? If you can move past this? And what are some of these other, you know, characteristics or values that you bring into your life? Like, How good can it be, you know, what are some of these habits that you can introduce into your life, and then you start also spending time, like, if someone's got this fear of abandonment, or, you know, one of their needs are is that they want to feel love, like, you know, then what are the habits that they have, that they've got in their life that they're doing now that kind of keeps on bringing them back into the past? And once you start to look at those were, how do you break these habits? Okay, then, each time you do this, then we introduce a new one, like, do you make it harder to do that habit. So there's a whole heap of different ways to do it. Certainly, it is around the awareness that you spoke off, and then it's how you introduce things in the future, like, I absolutely recommend journaling, to a lot of people now journaling, to be able to have that reflection piece. But it's also the power of journaling, to be able to start to write and say that these are the things that I'm wanting to, you know, live my life by, like these are the characteristics these are the qualities that I want to live by. and it enables you to really dig into that piece around that self validation, like, these are the amazing things that are happening in my life now versus in the past. This is what I can do in the future. And as soon as you can start to tap in and build that self validation piece, then that starts to really move you away from what's happened in the past.

Andrew Stotz 10:19
Got it. Got it. Well, it's exciting work that you're doing. And I would love to learn more about it. And maybe we will learn as we go through your story. But now it's time to share your worst investment ever. And since no one ever goes into their worst investment thinking it will be. Tell us a bit about the circumstances leading up to it, then tell us your story.

Luke Fenwick 10:37
Yeah, like this is, um, it's a really cool question. So thank you so much for, you know, asking it right. So I certainly did. And it wasn't an investment per se in regards to financial investment. But it was an investment in time. And it was an investment in Korea. And I was the career that I was on that journey before becoming a life coach. And when I decided to move from basketball, so Melton united, which is a place that I had true, like a real strong purpose, the purpose that maybe not for me was to bring back the sport of basketball was to support the club to win championships. But absolutely, a massive purpose for me was how do we make this club fantastic for the moms and the dads and the kids that were sitting in the stands like that, that was where I felt real kind of in a passion. I left there and went to big, a big business. And I thought that this was going to be the next you know, 10 years of my life, quite frankly, you know, massive organization, good opportunity, a lot of money, like good money, I should say I shouldn't say a lot. But it was good money. And then all of a sudden, this was not right. For me, it was the worst decision in regards to I'd gone to a place where I wasn't aligned with my purpose, and creative, massive, you know, anks and anxiety. in me, I spent six months waking up at 4am every morning, just just thinking about like the day ahead and what was going to go wrong. And like all of these things that weren't necessarily a reality. And yeah, this caused a massive, massive conflict. So the worst investment was that, but it also gave rise to this amazing realization that I needed to find purpose, like I need in my life with purpose and purpose doesn't always need to be manned and massive. But my purpose started to be around how do I be the best dad, the best, you know, husband, and the best person. And that's when I started to go right, I need to make some changes in my life. So that is that investment in regards to the career was initially and that was the wrong spot for me not saying it was the wrong spot for other people, but wrong spot for me wrong time. That just waiting to always other, you know, amazing opportunities that I've been, you know, enjoying now.

Andrew Stotz 13:07
So let's, uh, let's dig into this for a little bit before we get into the lessons that you learn. And one of the I have a, I always tend to have interns work with me and I say something that sounds a little bit strange. And that is, one of the best things that could come out of an internship is you find out that something you thought you liked, you find out that you do not like. And the reason why that's such a valuable lesson is because when you graduate from university, you know, you don't waste your time going out to find the job that you think you like, and then realize it's not the right job. And then you got to spend months and years trying to figure out what to do. And I'm just curious, you know, you're a mature guy, you're in touch with your, with yourself and all that. What did you miss? When you started looking at this opportunity and thinking about it?

Luke Fenwick 13:57
What did I miss before I took it?

Andrew Stotz 13:59
Yeah, I mean, because, you know,

Luke Fenwick 14:01
Yeah, great question. So, at that point in time, you know, the basketball thing was doing well, but for me, it was around Okay, what's next? And that's certainly something that as I continue to explore was something I was really missing. I was always looking at what is that next goal? There was, you know, very little gratitude, there was very little enjoyment. So I looked at this job as a big job, it's a big opportunity strike the ego in regards to the things that made good amount of money that was going to enable us to then do property development, all of these kinds of things, right, like, all of a sudden, I was just looking beyond, like the journey that I needed to go on to, you know, enjoy and be successful at that job. So what I did wrong as I was just looking so far down, down the road, that I missed everything that I was going to need to do along the way about, you know, enjoying being in a new business, you know, really learning the ropes. You know, learning getting better every day, you know, understanding that I wasn't perfect.

Andrew Stotz 15:05
Hmm. And can you remember the day, the exact day or place or time when you realized that I got to get out of this?

Luke Fenwick 15:18
Yeah, like I battled, I battled with it for so long, because I didn't. I didn't, I was never, I never looked at failure as being an option with anything. Like, as I'd always committed to, when I'd start something, I'd finish it, and I'd see it through. So that was part of the angst that that was in me for a long period of time. But, you know, I was there for eight or nine months, something along those lines, you know, was probably, you know, three months into aware really started to create this anxiety, then it was this, you know, five, six months worth of waking up every morning. And then it was really towards the end, where I was like, No, I'd spoken to my wife, you know, we'd had some really great conversations. And then it was like, This is not for me, it's not going to be the long term thing, it's not going to be about, you know, this is not about digging in their heels. This is about realizing this is not for me, you know, it's time to make a change. So it did take me a while, but it is on the back of, you know, like a lot of reflection. And that was where I also went wrong, right? Like, you need to reflect like, if you're not taking the time in life to reflect on what's going on, then you're never going to have gratitude, which is a powerful thing that we all should be having. And you're never going to take the opportunity to explore about what's going on. So that was after so much reflection, I kind of said know what, this enough things need to change. Because no, one final piece there. I didn't want to be in that organization, just for the sake of being in the organization, if I couldn't be everything, everything that I knew I was capable of, and give it everything and you know, do all those things and forge a path like I had in the rest of my career, then why do it? Like why I then impact on the people in that organization? If I couldn't bring it out? I knew that I should be.

Andrew Stotz 17:15
Right. Okay, so what lessons did you learn from this experience?

Luke Fenwick 17:21
Yeah, I learned online self validation is really important. And that was something that I didn't practice a lot of, I often look for, you know, I looked for this particular person to say great, or that particular pat on the back, or, you know, who is who is providing me with the confidence. So I realized how important self validation was, and like, you need to have that specially, especially if you're looking to do challenging things outside of the box. So that was one, there's a few, like, there's a lot, but I'll cover off a couple. Yep. The other one was that whole, you know, taking time to pause, and reflect, and understand what's happening in your life. Now, how your life is impacting you how you're impacting other people in your life, but taking pause, like, that was a massive thing for me. enjoying the journey? Right? Like I was wired, often, you know, if I reflect back even on Melbourne, United days, like we won the championship, there are these celebrations. And for me, it was like, okay, what's next, like, I wasn't enjoying that, that journey, I was just always focused on what was further down the road. So that was the other lesson around gratitude. I didn't have gratitude for a lot of the amazing stuff that I've done in regards to my career, like I didn't, and wasn't showing gratitude, my, you know, beautiful wife, my amazing wife that was supporting me, I wasn't having enough gratitude, even for my little boy, and this was impacting me as a dad. So, you know, that was a powerful lesson that you need to have gratitude in your life. And the last one, if I may, yes. You know, we're not perfect. And, you know, failure is a part of life. And, you know, I think I'd always tried to be tried to be perfect, you know, as I grew up, you know, my mom was always, you know, just be perfect, just be perfect. And, you know, that's, that's like a really bad place to play. And, you know, we're not perfectly My family is okay. And especially if you you giving it a crack, and you're trying to do things so, I know that was a long answer to your question, but there was so many powerful lessons and now probably the really big ones that then started to shape in on what I was going to do next to how I wanted to impact people and how I wanted to support and you know what the next chapter of my life was going to be

Andrew Stotz 19:50
great stuff in number one sub validation. Don't, you know, look outside yourself, you've got to validate yourself. Number two, take time to pause and reflect Like beautiful. Number three, enjoy the journey. And number four, recognize that failure is a very real part of life. Great, great learnings, let me share a few things that I take away from it. I mean, the first thing I would say is some people say, how did you get to the success that you're at my limited success, and I said, I quit often. And they say, Well, that doesn't make sense, you know. But what I always say is that when you find something that's not working for you, don't be afraid to leave it. And a lot of times, people don't leave things because they, they fear, the unknown, of what it's going to be like, without that thing. And you're always going to be much more comfortable with the thing that you don't know, you know, that the thing that you know, you don't like, then you're going to be comfortable with what am I going to replace it with. So, but if you find something that you just don't like, and you're in it, don't be afraid to walk away, and say it wasn't for me. And then the second part of this, that I take away is the idea of stepping back having gratitude. It's really an important message for this time, because from myself, as well, as I know, a lot of listeners, everybody's working double time to try to make sure they survive this crisis, and that they try to, you know, survive and thrive through it. And that oftentimes means that you just get so caught up in work, I know I do. So you've reminded me to step back and think about what I'm grateful for. And you know, I have brought some routines into my life, I've recently started doing yoga in the morning at a nearby place. And then I've also set up a time that my mom and I, who my mom, this is me, where we have a morning time together on the balcony, and we've got a little water fountain there, and plants, and then I make a cup of coffee. And even if we just have five minutes, or 30 minutes, you know, it's just that precious time. So you remind me of the idea of stepping back. So thank you for that being you dad.

Luke Fenwick 22:06
Yeah, look, there's that some, you know, that, that, that stress, and you know, that feeling that you have in your gut, right, like, that's, that's your body telling you that there's, there's misalignment in your world in your universe. And that's okay, like you need to me to listen to these things. Like they're there for a reason, like, you know, if, you know, a lot of coaches and scientists, and they talk about, you know, the 2 million year old brain and you know, what it was created for, and that was around, the agitation gets us out of bed to go find food and water and shelter. And we're in a really, really different spot now with the world we live in. But it's certainly still relates to whether or not it's work or relationships or life in general, like, you know, pay attention to those feelings that are going on inside of you, and take the opportunity to explore them further, you know, before making your next move, you know, don't ignore them. The people that ignore things for 10 2030 years, and they get later on in life, and then they start to go well, you know, this is a bit of a mess now, because they haven't listened to themselves. They haven't been true to themselves. And, and that's the important part. You know, you mentioned there before about, you know, yoga and meditation and, you know, mindfulness, and these are all things that a lot of people are talking about. But you know, at the end of the day, it's around, you know, how do you sit with yourself? How do you understand your thoughts? How do you tap into your, what's going on, and then explore it. Because if there's stress and anxiety there, you need to be able to sit comfortably in those kind of emotions in order to work around them, through them or over them and the practice that you're doing now, all those things are really helpful for you to be able to do those things. Yep.

Andrew Stotz 23:50
So based on what you learn from this story, and what you continue to learn, what one action would you recommend our listeners take to avoid suffering the same fate?

Luke Fenwick 23:59
Yeah, look, it's, well, that's a good one, I don't want to go back and say, this reflection, gratitude piece, but what I spent a lot of time doing was, and where I got to now was around reflecting on what my legacy was going to be. So what my life story was going to be. And that's where the power of everything really started to change. So I was looking at my wife, you know, personally and saying, you know, I wasn't going to be the best dad, husband, person, I wasn't going to be able to impact on as many lives as I wanted to. So I really started to look forward and go, what is my legacy? What am I creating? And when I started to look at that, I then had this pace of well, I need to make changes. So I would say to anybody out there, like life might be good, fantastic. This is not about people that might be just struggling. This is about all kinds of people take the opportunity to you know, pause, reflect, as I was saying before, And look at the legacy and the life that you're creating. And if you're not satisfied with what you think that end result, you know, is looking like it's going to be in 1020 3040 years or whatnot, then start to make some changes now start to make those plans. That's that would be my recommendation to everyone is just do that. Because it's really powerful when you start to look at that, and what fantastic things you can do once you wrap your mind around it.

Andrew Stotz 25:30
Beautiful. So listeners, what is your legacy going to be? Great question to think about? Last question, what's your number one goal for the next 12 months?

Luke Fenwick 25:41
Yeah, it's an awesome question. Right? So I have a vision, or a plan that by 2025, I want to impact 1 million lives. So, you know, next year is obviously not 2025. But over the next 12 months, it's certainly around how do I, you know, continue to engage with people? Now? How do I get in front of many businesses? You know, how do I do as much coaching as I can? So for me, it's how do I keep on one expanding my coaching practice. But to it's, you know, I know, this is the second one, but it's also how do I keep on learning and growing, I'm not a finished product, by any stretch of the imagination, you know, there are rough edges that I have, but I still need to work through. So I still want to keep on getting better and better every day, keep on being more mindful and aware of what I need to work on. embracing that, knowing that I can make change. If I do all of those things, then that leads into my goal of being a better dad a better husband, and then a better coach, and enables me to impact on more people. So like, that's the other thing that I want to do over the next 12 months.

Andrew Stotz 26:47
Beautiful. All right, listeners, there you have it another story of loss, to keep you winning. Remember to go to my worst investment ever.com to get free access to my short course six ways to lose your money and six strategies to win. As we conclude, Luke, I want to thank you again for coming on the show. And on behalf of a Stotz Academy, I hereby award you alumni status for turning your worst investment ever into your best teaching moment. Do you have any parting words for the audience?

Luke Fenwick 27:16
No, no, I just I just want to say, you know, thank you so much for the opportunity to come on chat. Like it's always, it's always amazing. And I love what you're doing in regards to, you know, these kind of conversations, because they're really powerful. So I suppose my, my parting comment would be, you know, just don't let those weeks and months and years pass you by without really embracing you know, some of those conversations that are going on in your mind, and not giving them the energy to explore and, and figure out how your life could go from good to amazing. And that's quite often what it is. So, you know, just just take the opportunity to explore and see where it takes you. But yeah, if any of your listeners want to chat, then absolutely. I'm over here.

Andrew Stotz 28:01
Okay. And we'll put the links in the show notes for anybody that wants to you can just type Luke Fenwick into your browser, but you can also just come to the show notes, and we'll have links and everything for you to get ahold of Luke. And I think I'm going to close it off by saying, a question that you've now raised to all of us that I think we all should be this. Let's be thinking about today. What's your legacy? Well, that's a wrap on another great story to help us create, grow and most importantly, protect our well fellow risk takers. This is your worst podcast host Andrew Stotz saying I'll see you on the upside.